Teacher Flashback#2
[Sometimes there are blissful calm days of teaching. That is, the kids are pretty calm, your colleagues aren't too pushy, and the smell of the city is quite invigorating. The following is an entry/re-memory of what it feels to feel good on such a day]
It’s Indian Summer and I fucking love it. I went to Union Square (the above picture) in my Teacher clothes, sat down at my hangout, the “Heartland Brewery” and had a nice little raspberry blond beer over a large pile of comic books. Then I went into the actual park, and sat there and translated Latin for about a half hour. However, there were some amazing distractions. I mean fantastical actually. There was a wizard, a few gays (the kind that can’t hide), and a cute girl reading a book on Classics next to me. I’m fairly certain the 3rd third of my day is not going to be as amazing as the 2nd third. As for the first third…
Well the first third was my typical school stuff, only with bubble sheets. PSAT time. For those of you who don’t know, the PSAT is basically prep before the SAT. It introduces minority students to the luxorious world of being standardly subpar than your white counterparts. Ok, my opinion is a little harsh, but I remember when I was in high school and Mr. Soffin gave out the PSAT grades of the kids in my grade level as an assignment on Statistics, and there were little jerks running around asking people for their score. Mr. Soffin kindly removed the names of each student next to their score, but this would not deter the overachieving eggheads from proving who is Alpha intellect. For those of us who didn’t score well, it was a sad and nerve wracking experience, doubled. That is, when “Line of Flagus“, or “Bites Club” approached you, you have to decide to yourself “am I a liar?” or “am I an idiot?”. Personally, I went for liar. Idiots don’t know when to lie, and lie at the wrong times. I think I claimed some quasi-intellectual chicks score for my own, and left her to fend with issues of feminity and intelligence.
So, I sympathize with the young boriquas, and negroes taking the PSAT today. (Yes, there are white students at my school but obviously I do not sympathize with them on this issue.)
As a side note, I really must mention that the instructions from the College Board basically all but direct proctors to shoot a kid in the head if he talks during the test. If he has a cellphone, lock down the Eastern Seaboard and cancel all signals from NYC to Tai Pei, and God forbid one of those kids from “The Perfect Score” (especially the black one) try to show up with an answer sheet. Unfortunately, no death on my watch but oh I can dream but there is always next year, and Mid Terms!
**As usual, names have been check to protect the guilty.
Original post by Dmitri Gromov