When Periods Attack (Subbing #5)
Diva Syndrome Part Deux (Subbing #5)
“I accidently stepped him on him….” – Beebe, Kill Bill 2 – In a reference to the death of her goldfish.
Last year when working at an all boys school, things between the guys were pretty straight forward. With guys, they either like you or don’t; you can give them detention and still be back on their good side by second bell. But with girls…not so much. They will smile in your face while putting turpentine in your coffee (as this poor teacher learned.)
My first incident with girls and the dreaded period did not go well. I have this habit of saying “That sounds like a personal problem, thanks for sharing” when students interrupt me while I’m lecturing or talking to another student. It’s pretty automatic. Coincidentally, my friends hate when I say that to them. It had never occurred to me that it may actually be a personal problem.
Thus, picture this scene. 10 Am (because all problems with children manifest at 10 Am.) While subbing 8th Grade ELA and leading a great class discussion about the role of naming in Lord of the Flies-
Lord of the Flies
When Vanessa or Andreina (obviously not her real name at this time but real names nonetheless) began having a side conversation with another female student and I paused for them to note that I had noticed their convo. (My waiting look is actually a deep stare, and twiddling my thumbs.) When they finally realized that we were waiting on them, Van. or Andr. started by saying “I was just asking her….” and without even thinking, out of my mouth went “that sounds like a personal problem-thanks for sharing.” To which she replied “Actually, I was asking her if she had something, for y’know, for my womanly troubles, but she doesn’t.” To which I responded “Hello- All the single ladies in the room, but Van. or Andr. would like to know if anybody can help her out with something that only another female could uh gift her with….” To which a tampon or pad sailed across the room much to my, all the males, and Van or Andr.’s mortification. To which I said outloud “Go. Take care of whatever. I am never going to forget you or this day. And everyone else…let’s get back on with the island of lost boys.” Which was a great recovering I guess.
The rest of the day I could not look at Van or Andr. without thinking of that 6 minutes in Period Hell. Completely diva-licious.
Next – When Periods Attack Two
Btw, if you are reading this on a feed or as note on a site such as Facebook.com, please take a second to check out the original posting on GetintheRye.com.
[Chester Kent]
