The Beijing-Tibet expressway slowed to a crawl on August 14 due to a spike in traffic by cargo-bearing heavy trucks heading to the capital, and compounded by road maintenance work that began five days later, the Global Times said.

I’m sorry, I realize that this has nothing to do with teaching, but I can’t stop laughing at the ridiculous idea of people sitting in their car for 9 days trying to get somewhere.  Really?

Seriously….Shenanighans.

[Chester Kent]

This is basically a transcript of what I lived blogged during the MTV VMA’s. It’s actually a lot less confusing to collect them and write an introduction to them when I think abou it.

The reason why I’m taking a second to even do this is because of the fact of how this entire thing has become so important to society for this week. Even to the point where ABC news thought it was clever to air President Obama’s off the record comment about Kanye West. So take this as a summation of the events without pictures. Imagine it’s like War of the Worlds a la 1940’s style.

________________________________________________________________________________________

1 Kanye West is a black asshole.

2 Lady Gaga just killed herself in front of everyone. Maybe they should get her a doctor.

3I’m ignoring Taylor Swift’s pre-recorded Tomfuckery.)

4 Some modern rock group just won. However, I’m still wondering who the hell gave Kanye West a microphone or his haircut.

5 Actually, I think Green Day just performed. Why does the lead singer still have hair like he is a 15 yr old white boy from Cheektowaga, NY who is rebelling against his parents.

6 Again…Wow, Green Day got sooooo freakin OLD

7 10:19 pm Ne-Yo just announced Beyonce.

8 10:20 pm Did Beyonce borrow her outfit from Wendy Williams?

9 10:22 pm Beyonce is singing but dancing at the same time.. Crappy performance I would have preferred that she danced instead of mediocre dancing, and fake singing..

10 10:32 – Best Male Video – I did not know that there is a video for “Live Your Life.”

11 10:33 – T.I. wins ironically. He is in jail. Love the love. Really.

12 10:34 – Muse is performing? I know what a “muse” is by definition But this group? Bathroom break. I’ll catch them on the next Guitar Hero.

13 Comment – Apparently Muse has been around for a while. Seriously?

14 11:00 PM – WHAT THE FUCK IS LADY GAGA WEARING…..

15 11:00 PM – Serena Williams.

16 Well, bravo Pink. Literally doing vocal acrobatics.

17 To all the Beyonce supporters, she does not walk on water. Oprah has that privilege first.

18 11:26 PM – Alicia Keys sit your ass down right this minute. Jay-z is basically walking through NYC? ]]> http://gitr.telldat.net/2009/09/15/things-that-make-me-hate-american-culture-sept-2008-ed/feed/ 0 http://gitr.telldat.net/2009/05/10/when-periods-attack-subbing-5/ http://gitr.telldat.net/2009/05/10/when-periods-attack-subbing-5/#comments Sun, 10 May 2009 16:54:38 +0000 Chester Kent http://gitr.telldat.net/?p=171 Diva Syndrome Part Deux (Subbing #5)

“I accidently stepped him on him….” – Beebe, Kill Bill 2 – In a reference to the death of her goldfish.

Last year when working at an all boys school, things between the guys were pretty straight forward.  With guys, they either like you or don’t; you can give them detention and still be back on their good side by second bell.  But with girls…not so much.  They will smile in your face while putting turpentine in your coffee (as this poor teacher learned.)

My first incident with girls and the dreaded period did not go well.  I have this habit of  saying “That sounds like a personal problem, thanks for sharing” when students interrupt me while I’m lecturing or talking to another student.   It’s pretty automatic.  Coincidentally, my friends hate when I say that to them.  It had never occurred to me that it may actually be a personal problem.

Thus, picture this scene.  10 Am (because all problems with children manifest at 10 Am.) While subbing 8th Grade ELA and leading a great class discussion about the role of naming in Lord of the Flies-

Lord of the Flies

When Vanessa or Andreina (obviously not her real name at this time but real names nonetheless) began having a side conversation with another female student and I paused for them to note that I had noticed their convo.  (My waiting look is actually a deep stare, and twiddling my thumbs.)  When they finally realized that we were waiting on them, Van. or Andr. started by saying “I was just asking her….”  and without even thinking, out of my mouth went “that sounds like a personal problem-thanks for sharing.” To which she replied “Actually, I was asking  her if she had something, for y’know, for my womanly troubles, but she doesn’t.”  To which I responded “Hello- All the single ladies in the room, but Van. or Andr. would like to know if anybody can help her out with something that only another female could uh gift her with….” To which a tampon or pad sailed across the room much to my, all the males, and Van or Andr.’s mortification.  To which I said outloud “Go. Take care of whatever.  I am never going to forget you or this day.  And everyone else…let’s get back on with the island of lost boys.” Which was a great recovering I guess.  

The rest of the day I could not look at Van or Andr.  without thinking of that 6 minutes in Period Hell.  Completely diva-licious.

Next – When Periods Attack Two

Btw, if you are reading this on a feed or as note on a site such as Facebook.com, please take a second to check out the original posting on GetintheRye.com.

[Chester Kent]

I am having a serious situation with a girl in class 603 – she’s a 6th grader who looks at me like I’m made of magic and rainbows.  But she is bringing down everyone else in the class. I’m not sure how to not murder her actually.  It makes Chester sad. 

I’ve moved her seat but to naught.  Anyway, I have other issues right now. I’m currently at the Apple Store in Chelsea and probably going to be kicked out for intimidating one of their employees with my knowledge.  But I hate idiots.  Especially fucking idiots.

TEXT MESSAGE FUN

I suppose that the best way to break a tense moment is to crack a little levity (or a bottle of something, but that does lead to other issues….) So far, ’09 feels like ’08, except the temperature is just a little bit colder.  I could get in the rage I feel when I read about cuts to edu-ma-cation, and even the saving of those cuthroat NYC Teaching Fellows. (It’s not that I hate ya, it’s…well…you guys don’t help my situation out at all.)  But that’s just unneccesary digression.  So for the amusement of the internet, here are some of the hilarious text messages that I sent out this week.  In the style of “One Sentence Stories“, I’m just going to present the text and allow you to use your imagination in regards to what the text is a response to, or calls for.

“I refuse to drink anything alcoholic except for beer for the rest of the year….”

“Oh M Gee.  I really feel like death is chilling on the couch next to me.  Waiting patiently.”

“A Bitch just finished working out…looked in the mirror and was like DAMN GIRL!”

“I’m going to get a Puerto Rican girlfriend and make you bitches knife fight.”

“Oh look, I tried but apparently you are getting whipped by Macy’s again.”

“I will have to put up with your other friends at some point again, too.  Need I remind you the “Waiting to Exhale” extended moment that way your birthday.”

“I kind of wonder if people are generally stupid.”

“A Boombox. In 2009.”

“Up the river.  With Pacey.”

“I feel like death and evil are taking turns raping me.  I have no voice whatsoever.”

“Resident sociopath talking calling.  Be there or be a statistic.”

Kudos for anyone who can manage to use any of these as a writing prompt.  I think some great inappropriate short stories could come from these.

[Chester Kent]

Some the winner of the quasi-weekly/monthly “Out Of Control” [O.O.C.] award goes to…..

The reason that Congress wins is because of this supposed financial bailout. Those who don’t know of the supposed “meltdown” well I would like to crawl under the rock that you have been hiding under, right next to you. The House of Rep. actually seemed to care what its constitutes think, and said “No!!!!” to bailing out Wall Street. It is understandable to think that Wall Street is in trouble, but why is it so hard to conjecture that well, maybe those rich brokers won’t always be rich. Maybe banks need to stop making risky loans. Maybe someone should teach our President to spell “Recession” before he attempts to sound it out.

At the core of my anger is that municipalities, and our very own Federal money didn’t think that maybe our children could use a large push like that. On a micro level, a huge chunk of money like that could, maybe well actually probably would restore parking for some teachers who have lost-on-the-street parking due to New York City needs to squeeze money out of its already heavily taxed residents.

Read more about:

 NYC City teachers losing parking spaces.
[Chester Kent]

Person Nominated – Eric Cartman

South Park is in fact O.O.C. Referring to the list of hot guys in South Park Elementary School, Cartman Says to Kenny…..”Kenny, you are at the bottom of the list. No girl likes a poor guy, she doesn’t want to eat pop-tarts for dinner.”

Whoa.