TEXT MESSAGE FUN

I suppose that the best way to break a tense moment is to crack a little levity (or a bottle of something, but that does lead to other issues….) So far, ’09 feels like ’08, except the temperature is just a little bit colder.  I could get in the rage I feel when I read about cuts to edu-ma-cation, and even the saving of those cuthroat NYC Teaching Fellows. (It’s not that I hate ya, it’s…well…you guys don’t help my situation out at all.)  But that’s just unneccesary digression.  So for the amusement of the internet, here are some of the hilarious text messages that I sent out this week.  In the style of “One Sentence Stories“, I’m just going to present the text and allow you to use your imagination in regards to what the text is a response to, or calls for.

“I refuse to drink anything alcoholic except for beer for the rest of the year….”

“Oh M Gee.  I really feel like death is chilling on the couch next to me.  Waiting patiently.”

“A Bitch just finished working out…looked in the mirror and was like DAMN GIRL!”

“I’m going to get a Puerto Rican girlfriend and make you bitches knife fight.”

“Oh look, I tried but apparently you are getting whipped by Macy’s again.”

“I will have to put up with your other friends at some point again, too.  Need I remind you the “Waiting to Exhale” extended moment that way your birthday.”

“I kind of wonder if people are generally stupid.”

“A Boombox. In 2009.”

“Up the river.  With Pacey.”

“I feel like death and evil are taking turns raping me.  I have no voice whatsoever.”

“Resident sociopath talking calling.  Be there or be a statistic.”

Kudos for anyone who can manage to use any of these as a writing prompt.  I think some great inappropriate short stories could come from these.

[Chester Kent]

Looking back over some of my notes, I had forgotten how pissed I could get at kids when they were in fact being kids. He/She that says s/he has always studied for every test is a complete liar, and should have his/her tongue pierced with a rusty nail. Shit happens, it’s understandable completely. Unless for that person who always has a stick up their butt, upon which shit would not happen.

One of the first quizzes that I gave was on the first few pages of Daniel Keyes “Flowers for Algernon.” I announced it about a week or so (give or take) in advance. Part of this was because I had factored in spending a day or two on the opening Prologue, which is drawn from Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave.” I wanted to get the children’s’ feet a little wet and not let Keyes’ implicit inclusion of an ‘allegory‘ miss them. It was also a great way to tie in and introduce the literary device, foreshadowing.

But then comes question 19 on my quiz…

19. Who is the author of “The Republic” and “The Allegory of the Cave?”

A. Plato B. Daniel Keyes C. Charles Gordon D. Huckleberry Finn.

Words alone could not draw a visual image to what I would like to do to each and every child who chose Huckleberry Finn. I understand the detractor is there well to detract you from the right answer, but c’mon!

For the last time, any child whomsoever happens to have placed “D. Huckleberry Finn” in the slot next to number 19, well you deserve to be the last person picked in gym class, and if the other kids tell you that you can’t sit at the lunch table with them, well, suck it up.